Forever and a day

Posted: February 7, 2011 in Uncategorized

To refresh your memory, in case you have forgotten, I have three dogs. My four-legged children are all fairly large in size, and almost all exactly one year apart. One of the unpleasantries of dog ownership is, of course, the potty break. Two of the three animals (Austin & Molly) have no problem with this task. Outside, stop, poop, done. The third (Bella), on the other hand, is another story all together…

Bella seems to have an issue finding a place to poop. I know that this an issue for some dogs, but it doesn’t make it any easier to understand. Why does finding a place to dump have to turn into a scientific expedition? Sniff. Turn. Nope. Sniff. Turn. Nope. Sniff. Turn. Nope. Sniff. Turn. Turn. Maybe. Nope. On and on it goes for what seems like three eternities held together by pieces of string.

I am quite sure there is some sort of scientific explanation for why they do this. Frankly, however, I don’t care about that. Unless, of course, there is something I can do to speed her up (though admittedly I am curious what she is smelling that is turning her “off” to a particular location, especially since its her own backyard and, you know, she poops there everyday). I’d say I could put some laxative in her food but I’d rather not on my hands and knees covered in my own vomit from cleaning up dog poo. So, the only thing I am left to do is wait while Bella turns a simple task into an algebraic formula of epic proportions. Maybe she does it because she knows it irritates me. Or maybe she is a mad scientist attempting to perfect some process that she will later share with the AKC. Your guess is as good as mine.

I guess, in the end, as a dog owner, I just have to put up with this shit…every pun intended.

From a dog’s point of view, his master is an elongated and an abnormally cunning dog.
–Mabel Robinson


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