Where have you been?

Posted: February 6, 2011 in Uncategorized

Gosh, I didn’t realize it had been so long. Lately, I have been poked and prodded to write something, anything. In the past, this was not a difficult order to follow. My angst-ridden self always had something to bitch and moan about; something to make fun of. These days, my angst seems to have subsided. Or, at a minimum, it has buried itself deep within my organs and only rears its (beautifully) ugly head when I’ve been drinking. And, since typing whilst drinking is quite challenging, well, you get the idea.

What have I done worth noting lately? Well, truth be told, nothing. I’ve been to both Wilkes-Barre, PA and Indianapolis, IN, both of which have some of the ugliest people I have ever seen. Indy rivals KC in its ghettoness, and Wilkes-Barre feels…well, it feels like a dying town. Nothing fun to write about there. Why, you may ask, did I feel compelled to visit both of these beautiful cities? It was a forced compulsion you could say. Because, you know, I’d like to keep my job (that I hate).

But, I digress. No sense talking about the displeasure feels in one’s job, if for nothing more than to improve the chances of remaining gainfully employed. I’m sure my two-and four-legged pups would all prefer that I continue to bring home the bacon, both literally and figuratively. And since I enjoy my Camels and New Belgium, probably best if I refrain from bearing my (miserable) employment soul. Maybe later…

I do sound bitter, don’t I? Well, I’m not. Don’t let the perception of such ruin the reality of it. I’m just…boring. School, kid, day job, oil-wrestling and part-time janitorial work at the local sperm bank does not make for an exciting, literature-worthy existence (did you see how many times I used dashes there?). Perhaps I have stopped looking at everyone through a cock(hehe)eye. Or perhaps I’ve just grown soft. Or perhaps…

Who the fuck am I kidding? People suck. A person is okay but people are, as a collective, annoying and disgusting and they give me gas. So, no more softness. No more looking the other way. No more refraining from pointing out the bad in everyone else. No more refraining from talking about monkey poo, or how Sarah Palin would look better in Hustler than in the White House. And finally, no more letting the idiocy of life pass by unnoticed.

I’m back.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.
–Albert Einstein



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