Because I want to

Posted: April 16, 2010 in Uncategorized

It seems that everyone is a fan of the blog these days. Not “the” blog as in my blog, but rather, of composing one’s thoughts in a manner that is shareable with the rest of the world. And really, why not? It is a self-gratifying activity and allows a person to easily hide behind the act of sharing when it is really just an act of egotism. I, of course, lump myself into this, and any of you that may know me know that I have quite a large ego, despite the fact that I have short legs and crow’s feet.

What I have also realized is that the blogs of the majority of people I know are kinda sappy (no offense family and friends). Sure, a lot of them are about family life and avoid many of the topics that yours truly likes to broach (Sarah Palin, monkeys, and vagina, to name just a few). So that got me to thinking, why is my blog seemingly so jaded, occasionally vile, and routinely sarcastic, when everyone else seems to be so reflective and nauseating happy? The answer to me was simple…

Because I want to.

Happiness, to me, is a boring proposition. Nobody gives a shit if I like someone, or like something (other than bacon, of course). No, to me, the most exciting things in life are the ones that make people cringe just a bit, or make them talk about you behind your back. To me, that’s how you know you are really making an impact on someone and digging your spurs deep into their ribs. Knowing this, one must then wonder, why are other people afraid to walk the scandalous line? And once again, the answer to me is simple…

Because they are scared.

Scared? Yep. Scared. Scared to discuss the issues. Scared that other people will think ill of them. Scared to dig deep down into the pits of their souls and expose a little bit of themselves that others might find different. Fear can lead to a lot of things, or in this case, prevent a lot of things. Fear leads to assimilation and to walking the straightest line possible. There isn’t necessarily anything wrong with that, but…

I believe you have to take chances in life. Much like we are expected to adapt throughout the course of our existences (children, losing hair, breaking a hip), we are expected to take chances in order to keep moving forward through the jungle (unless you carry around a machete). That aside, some people just aren’t born to take chances and, ultimately, I guess that is okay. That is their existence and it would be wrong of me to be too judgmental (beyond the compulsion to quickly muse about it). They can continue to coat the world with sugar while I will continue to scrape it off and take a bite out of the lemon.

I guess that’s just my existence.

You have to risk going too far to discover just how far you can really go.
–T.S. Eliot



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