Archive for August, 2009


Posted: August 21, 2009 in Uncategorized

How many people does it take to run a register at Walmart? Apparently three….and now a fourth. This is why you work at Walmart in your 30s.




Posted: August 10, 2009 in Uncategorized

Okay, so I have bit my tongue for quite awhile on this subject matter, but I figure now is about time for me to put my two-cents in (quickly).

Lots of right-wing initiated “protests” (I use this word very lightly here because while they are protests, they are staged to not look like protests at all, which to me, is a cop out) have been in the news lately regarding the proposed health care bill. Hell, even Sarah “I’m a hockey mom beauty princess” Palin (gag, unless you’re gonna show us your boobs) has gotten into the act of fear mongering lately (surprise!). Much of the fear mongering going around is that you, the employed American with health care through your provider, are going to be forced to go with the government plan. Well, ignorant fear mongers (who are all old people, have you noticed that? Why are you complaining? You’re about to die anyway), let’s set the record straight.

The proposed bill, while not perfect, aims to give health insurance, or the opportunity of health insurance, to everyone. So if you work part time at Mickey D’s, and they don’t offer a health insurance plan for you, you’ll have something to fall back on. In my mind, everyone deserves the opportunity for health care, but, as we know, not everyone gets it. The bill isn’t mean to take away your insurance, but rather, give the chance for the poorest of the poor to have health insurance, a service they typically do not enjoy now. Further, the bill seeks to provide options to those that have very few options financially. And, if your employer decides to go with this health care plan, sounds to me like it’s your employer’s choice to me and not the government’s.

Now, I understand that this is just a high level view, and I understand that there are costs associated with it but, consider this: These same people who don’t have health insurance still get sick. They still get maimed and injured and need medical assistance. And where do they go when they need medical assistance? The ER. And what happens to the bill? You pay for it. One way or another we, the citizens of the United States of America, are expected to help support the less fortunate. It is a fact of our existence. It is a fact of our principles. It is a fact that helps make us the best country in the world.

If you don’t like the bill, suggest a solution; find a compromise, don’t just yell and complain that your taxes have to, heaven forbid, help someone else. However, and think about this – don’t you think the less fortunate are owed a little something after we have spent the last eight years of the Bush presidency mired in a war that has helped to drain our economy and alienate our country on the world stage? Isn’t it about time that we give something back to the people of this country after we have endured a tremendous loss of life and an economic meltdown? Isn’t it time that we put our trust in someone else’s ideas and principles for a change, knowing full well that the ideas and principles of the most recent predecessor crippled our country to depths that we have never felt before?

Get over it. Don’t be afraid of change. Just know that, like all changes, if something doesn’t work, we change it again. I think the American people (you know, the normal middle to lower class ones, not the ones living in a gated community playing golf six days out of the week) and by extension this administration deserve a chance to try something new. What we are doing right now isn’t working.

The key to change is to let go of fear.
–Rosanne Cash


Are they that smart?

Posted: August 10, 2009 in Uncategorized

As a consequence of owning three dogs, and subsequently three dogs that drop deuces outside, I have an abundance of flies buzzing around my backyard. These flies, like all flies, like to weasel their ways into my house and serve as a general annoyance in my life. And, as you all know, I smoke, and since I smoke outside, I get double the annoyance.

Because of this problem, I decided to get a flyswatter and keep it around my smoking lounge. While I am quite skilled with using my hands to kill flies, it can be quite messy and my hands get dry from all the hand washing. The first couple of times I had the flyswatter out with me, I was quite successful. But, over time, I have noticed that, no matter how many flies are doing fly-bys on my head (and legs and hands and feet and arms), as soon as I pick up the flyswatter, they magically disappear.

Today, I had a chance to catch up with one of the flies that routinely annoys me. We cover a wide range of topics, including flyswatter avoidance.

Me: Why is it that you always have to land on me while I’m outside?

Fly: You smell good

Me: I smell good? What do I smell like?

Fly: Good.

Me: Define good.

Fly: Good.

Me: It has been said that smoke helps to keep flies away. If that’s the case, why are you always buzzing around while I’m grilling?

Fly: Beef.

Me: What if I’m cooking chicken?

Fly: Beef.

Me: I have a flyswatter that I sometimes carry around outside. I notice that you and your friends leave me alone when I’m carrying my flyswatter. Why is that?

Fly: You kill me.

Me: You know I’m going to try and kill you when I’m carrying my flyswatter?

Fly: Yes.

Me: How do you know that?

Fly: You kill my brother.

Me: I killed your brother?

Fly: Yes.

Me: So because of this, you think I might try to kill you with my flyswatter?

Fly: Ye-[SMACK]

I guess they aren’t as smart as I thought they were.

Time’s fun when you’re having flies.

–Kermit the Frog