Mysterious disappearance

Posted: June 10, 2009 in Uncategorized

As you all know, I am currently in the midst of a little road trip for work today. This afternoon I had a little down time and decided to peruse an online version of a newspaper out of the Midwest. While I was browsing the Kansas City Star, I happened upon a quick little story that I would like to share with you. It reads:

Missing man turns up in Washington State

A 19-year-old man who was reported missing about a week ago has been located in Olympia, Wash., Kansas City police said today.

Evan Carslake, last seen in the Kansas City area on June 2, was unharmed, police said.

Local authorities do not yet know how Carslake ended up in Washington.

Pray tell, how exactly is this news? Let’s read it line by line and find the discrepancies:

  • A 19-year old man“-Well, there’s your first problem. Sounds like this dude had it right. If I were 19 and had the means, I’d probably cruise out of town myself. Unless, of course, it has since become illegal for 19-year old men to travel outside of the state. In that case, I totally understand the need for the story.
  • …police said“-Why were police involved? Remember: 19-year old dude
  • “…how Carslake ended up in Washington“-Really? I have a few ideas. My first inclination is to say that he got there by car. How did I come to this conclusion? Let me break you off some Nancy Drew…He was last seen on June 2nd. Today is June 10th. If he walked, rode a bicycle or tricycle or unicycle, or got there via crab-walk, I don’t think he’d be there yet. If he went by plane, he would’ve probably gotten there sooner. That leaves us with a leisurely stroll in an automobile. And, considering, again, that we are talking about a 19-year old guy, sounds a bit like a drug-fueled, alcohol-laden roadie.

Someone’s family and/or friends apparently don’t know Evan very well or they might have suspected that he flew the coop and took up arms in Washington State. I wonder who feels like the bigger idiot: him, his family, the police for chasing him, or the reporter that got stuck writing about this.

Wandering re-establishes the original harmony which once existed between man and the universe.
–Anatole France

jbr

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