Addiction

Posted: May 25, 2009 in Uncategorized

I need to come clean. Recently, I have discovered that I have a rather nasty addiction. This addiction has, on a number of occasions, permeated my weekends and filled the holes of boredom more often than not. It has been said that a person that acknowledges his problem is on the road to recovery. Frankly, I am tired of being in denial, so it is time to throw it all out on the table. So, here it goes…

My name is jbr, and I am a Rice Krispie Treat addict.

Whew, there, I said it…I already feel a ton better already. See, the problem is, I am a vacuum cleaner around Rice Krispie Treats. If they are made in my household, I will eat the whole batch in a day. If they are made in your household, I will eat as many as I can then stuff the rest in my pockets (I will then blame the missing treats on your stupid cat that climbs all over the counter. Sure I left the plastic wrap off, but it was your cat that ate them. If you don’t have a cat, I’ll blame it on the dog). Never mind the fact that the next day my mouth is full of loose skin and sores. Never mind the fact that I am ingesting enough butter to kill a small village. No, all of these things are collateral damage to my addiction.

When I get RKT on the brain, all I can think about is slaving over the stove for 10, maybe even 15 minutes to whip up a batch of RKT. Double the marshmallows. Double the butter. Double the decliciousness. I will even contort my tongue in ways that are illegal in 17 states as I try to get the quickly drying treats off the spoon. Then, of course, I leave all the dirty dishes (which of course dry and must be discarded) so that I may make love to my batch of chewy goodness. Can you hear the snap, crackle, and pop through my moans? I bet you can.

It is quite obvious I have a problem and I need an intervention. I hope this make it to those that can help me battle my obsession with RKT. Maybe Jenny Craig or Oprah can save me from the quick, and surely fattening, downward spiral of my addiction.

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