Cover your ears

Posted: April 9, 2009 in Uncategorized

Dear green Acura MO license plate C87-2DL,

There are two turn lanes for a reason, dipshit. The reason for two turn lanes is so that I, in the inside turn lane, may turn left so that I may be in the inside lane when finishing my turn, and so that you, on the outside turn lane, may turn left and be on the outside lane when finishing your turn. There are NOT two turn lanes so that you can be a total cuntlicker and decide you want to turn into my lane whilst making the aforementioned left turn.

I am driving a large, American pickup. You are driving a foreign piece of shit. You are lucky that I was watching you because otherwise you would most likely be cleaning the crap from your drawers right about now. I am, on the otherhand, equally as lucky that I could feel what you were about to do because, judging by the state of your douchemobile, the handicap permit hanging from your mirror, and your weave, you are most likely not insured. Then, I would’ve had to shove my Texas plates so far down your throat that you would be pissing aluminum for the next six week because you ruined my lien-free vehicle. And then, I would’ve gone to jail, and while in jail you would’ve probably had your sliceys come find me and unleash 300 years of unjustice on the poor white boy who was just trying to get to work until your twattiness came along.

In the future, stay in your fucking lane. Furthermore, don’t flip me off when I honk at you and tell you what a Cuntasaurus Rex you are. I can sincerely say that I hope that whatever handicap that scored you that permit is eating you from the inside out, soon to render you a ward of the state.

Thank you have and have a pleasant day.

Yours truly,


P.S.–We can all tell it’s a weave

How to survive on America’s roads: obey all the traffic laws and assume no one else does.
–Gary Hassler



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