Go away already!

Posted: March 12, 2009 in Uncategorized

Today is March 12. Today, when I woke up, it was 12 degrees. And today, when I stepped outside for a morning smoke and it was 12 degrees, it pissed me off. Like, really pissed me off. You know, the kind of angry that causes people to smash chairs on the heads of KKK members on an episode of Geraldo.

I have written in the past about my love affair with Winter. And while it is true that I do enjoy the seasonal changes, enough is enough. Winter, why won’t you go away already? We don’t like you anymore. We don’t want you here. Let your buddy Spring take your place and shower us with sunshine and green grass. I’m tired of wearing winter clothes. I’m tired of wearing shoes. And I’m tired of covering up my guns. I’ve been working out all winter and it is high time to take the people around me to the gun show.

You might be asking, “JBR, why don’t you just move back to Texas?” And I would tell you mind your own fucking business. I don’t want to move back to Texas. I like it here. I like Winter in doses, but certainly not when it gets warm, then cold, then warm, then cold again. And now, with the time change starting so early, it just fucks with my head. So, an easy solution to the problem would be this: Winter, pack up your bags. Give us a kiss on the cheek. Say your goodbyes. And get on the fucking road. Sayonara. Adios. See you later alligator (after while crocodile).

I don’t think it is too much to ask. Not to mention, if you stay much longer, Winter, nobody is going to be nice to you next year, and that will just ruin our holiday season.

I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.
–Bill Watterson



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