MY 25 Things

Posted: March 3, 2009 in Uncategorized

A cookie to anyone that can guess how many, out of 25, are actually true. Sorry family members, you are excluded from the competition. If you wish to guess, send me an email and tell me which of the following are not complete bullshit.

  1. I was born into a family of Gypsies and spent most of my youth traveling from city to city. By age seven I had learned how to pick-pocket and had already lost my virginity.
  2. I am able to write with both my left and right hands.
  3. The first CD I ever owned was Warrant’s “Cherry Pie.”
  4. I am a sci-fi geek and can fluently speak Klingon.
  5. My father’s name is Biff.
  6. When I was in high school, I was voted “Most likely to commit suicide by age 25.” I am proud to say that, since I am in my 30s, that prophecy was unfulfilled. Now where is that razor again…
  7. I have a rare genetic “defect” that gives me the ability stare without blinking for about three hours consecutively.
  8. My favorite cartoon growing up was “My Little Pony.”
  9. In college, I wrote a thesis statement on what effect copious amounts of sex, as is in the case of porn stars, has on the vagina.
  10. I often drink about a full pot of coffee all day, throughout the day. And yet, I have never had kidney problems.
  11. My favorite singer is Celine Dion.
  12. I secretly love to chew tobacco.
  13. Because I was supposed to be a girl, my middle name is Bernice. My parents never changed it.
  14. When I die I want to be creamated and my ashes mixed in with that colored sand in one of those fancy vases. I would then like the container passed down through my family so that I may haunt them for eternity.
  15. I hate all forms of cheese.
  16. I used to have a pet cockroach named “Tim,” but then my cat ate him.
  17. I am able to type faster than I talk.
  18. I am terrified of ladders.
  19. Once, in my early 20s, I was sprayed by a skunk that I tried to help on the side of the road.
  20. The only habit I have ever given up for good is chewing my nails.
  21. I used to watch soap operas religiously as a child.
  22. I have a tattoo of an 8-ball on my back.
  23. I love black licorice.
  24. I collect Barbie Dolls and I have a room full of them still in their boxes.
  25. The most notable “Good Samaritan” thing I ever did was this: A girl I was dating had a debilitating fear of worms; any worm. One time when we were in a back yard a catepillar/bag worm had slunk down from the tree we were under and ended up in her hair. I pulled the worm out and disposed of it before she could notice.

And bonus the bonus cookie question:

What is my biggest pet peave?

  1. People who ask if they can ask me a question
  2. Interrupters
  3. Sentence finishers
  4. Slow drivers

H to the izz-O, V to the izz-A, fo’ shizzle my nizzle used to dribble down in VA.
–Jay-Z

jbr

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