Thou shall not steal

Posted: February 25, 2009 in Uncategorized

Ladies and gentlemen, meet James Harris. This shining example of brilliance and common sense was recently arrested for stealing an Xbox from a couple and keeping said Xbox in the trunk of his car. Upon discovery of the stolen goods, Mr. Harris decided it would be wise to knife both the man and woman from whom he stole.
This story sounds reasonable enough from a crime perspective, but Mr. Harris failed to remember one thing. If you are going to steal from somebody, and subsequently stab them, you should probably do it outside the eyeshot of the victim’s friends.
When the police arrived to the scene of the crime, they found Mr. Harris, the stabber, lying face down in the victim’s yard. It appears that, after witnessing the stabbing of their friends, a group of people decided to give Mr. Harris a good ol’ fashioned ass-whooping, as illustrated above. So now, due to Mr. Harris’ infinite wisdom, he is not only going to jail, he is going to jail looking like a hooker roughed by her pimp.
If I could talk to Mr. Harris right now, I might be inclined to ask if he can see the error of his ways, but I suspect he can’t see much of anything right now. I just hope that he stole an Xbox 360 and not just an Xbox. I wonder if this is what God had in mind with “thou shall not steal?”

Criminals do not die by the hands of the law; they die by the hands of other men.
–George Bernard Shaw
jbr
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