This Week in American Idiocy

Posted: January 29, 2009 in Uncategorized

Really, the title of this post could be “Any Week in American Idiocy.” I am quite sure that just about every other country across this great globe of ours is littered with idiots, but since I am American, and I live in America, I thought I would keep it contained to our borders. Here are some idiotic tales.

  • Credit Motors Kansas City-I saw a commercial this morning, and I’ll be damned if I could find a screenshot to show everyone, so my set up will have to do. At the end of the commercial, in big, bold letters, Credit Motors states that “YOUR APPROVED.” Come again? My approved? Who’s approved are we talking about? Last time I checked I don’t think I have an approved. Oh, wait, do you mean “YOU’RE APPROVED?” I decided to do the right thing and send them a note on their website: “FYI…your local commercial says “YOUR APPROVED.” You should probably check your grammar because it is really “YOU’RE APPROVED.” “Your approved” would imply that I have an approved, which I don’t think I do. In fact, I don’t even know how one acquires an approved. “ Idiots.
  • People who run from the cops-You know, idiot, they are going to catch you. Especially if you steal a U-Haul and attempt to flee the po-po as this lady did: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,484764,00.html. Also, if you do decide to flee in your vehicle, when they do catch you, don’t try to run; unless, of course, you are an Olympic sprinter. And judging by the class of people that decide to run from the boys in blue, I don’t think that’s the case. People that break out of jail and are not in the cast of Prison Break also fall into this category.
  • People with vibarating chair thingies at work-Okay, so, I know you want us to ask you about your back problems, and I appreciate the play for attention, but do you really need to bring in an electronic masseuse to work? It is highly distracting. In fact, it really just sounds like a vibrator going in and out of a vag.
  • Rush Limbaugh-No real explanation here, he is just an idiot. He must have a penchant for shoe because he really loves to insert foot in mouth. He’s pretty damn flexible for a fattie.
  • Drive-thru customers-I think we have all experienced this idiocy (and laziness). The person right in front of you in the drive-thru, with four people in the car, that orders as such: “I’ll take a quarter pounder with no cheese. A quarter pounder with half cheese, no onions, and flakes of gold. I’ll take a chicken sandwich..fried…no grilled…no fried, with no bun but with pickles. I’ll take a quarter pounder with no onions, lettuces, tomatoes, no pickles, medium-rare, with three buns. I need four orders of tater tots. What do you mean you don’t have tater tots? Okay, well, then I’ll take two small fries and a medium fry and another small fry. I’ll take a small coke, a large coke, a medium coke, and another medium coke. And four apple pies.” This is the same person that then tries to move ahead in line but has stuck her car in reverse. This is also the same person that gets the bird and a few nasty words.
  • People that forget everyone can see your Facebook/MySpace-How many times do we have to hear about this? Some unfortunate twit is stupid enough to post pictures of his or her debauchery on his or her Facebook/MySpace, only to realize that, SHIT, EVERYONE CAN SEE IT! I have very little (none) sympathy for these models of intelligence. Nor do I have any sympathy for those that make comments/status updates on these social networking sites without telling the people it may be involved. For example, Jenny changes her status to “Single” without telling Johnny, who then finds out from a friend, who heard from a cousin, who saw it on her Facebook. Passive aggressive? Maybe. Absent-minded? Maybe. Idiotic? Definitely.

I’m sure I could continue to ramble, but I’ll save some more tales of idiocy for a little later. Besides, my brain hurts from recalling these morons.

Cluelessnes-There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots.
–Larry Kersten

jbr

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Comments
  1. Abigail says:

    I’ve perused your “Thirtysomething Angst” and it’s just that, which is a rite of passage as far as I can tell. I HAD to comment on your take on the auto dealership advertisement… I laughed out loud as that is one of my biggest pet peeves on the planet; it pisses me off to no end. I am forever correcting people who should know better and even text messages of “your sweet” are answered with “My what?” Again, I had to laugh as I can only imagine the tirade in your head when you actually saw the ad. It goes without saying that a rant would be unavoidable and also, that someone needs their ass kicked.I always knew there was something about you I liked…

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