Ch-ch-chia

Posted: January 6, 2009 in Uncategorized

Sometimes, aging is not a graceful process. I think that it differs greatly between genders, and probably differs greatly between individuals. Being only a 30-something, I haven’t had much of a chance to age gracefully. Of course things change, and one must adjust as he ages, but as a 30-something, you don’t really have to worry about having too much grace as the days click by.

I’m curious though, particularly for men, at what point should you really start worrying about the aging process? I am also curious at what point does a man feel that his ear hair is a socially acceptable feature? Does there come a point in time where you, as a man, just give up and say, “Fuck it, let it grow?” What baffles me further is the men I see, with said ear hair, and a wedding ring. What kind of woman in her right mind would allow her man to leave the house with chia-ear? Does she eventually give up too and decide it’s okay for her husband to enter the world of senility?

I want to avoid this little marker in life. Part of God’s sick sense of humor is to give people hair follicles in their ears, and I understand that I may not be able to avoid hair in the ear. What I can avoid, however, is letting the world see pubes sprouting from my ear canal. I want to avoid the point when I look in the mirror, see my ear hair, and just shrug it off and move on.

Ear hair, it would appear, is only a part of the chiaing that the body does as it ages. Nose hair, eyebrows, and random long hairs growing out of moles all seem to work together with the ear hair in order to transform a person from a human to some sort of hamster. Even when I am 70, I never want to be the guy that has nose hairs tickling his upper lip, ear hair caked with wax, and a four-foot long hair growing from the mole on my face. If I ever become that guy, just pull the plug and dump my body in the ocean. If I ever give up on trying to age gracefully, then I have given up on my integration into society and therefore am no longer fit for visual human consumption.

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

–Chili Davis

jbr

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Comments
  1. blueeyed30 says:

    Have you seen the wives of those guys? I’d bet they’ve done some letting go themselves.

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