100

Posted: December 15, 2008 in Uncategorized

It’s hard to believe that I have made it up to 100 rants in the past year. Actually, there were quite a few more, but I decided to delete them as they weren’t fit for human consumption.

In honor of rant #100, I decided to dip into my mailbag and answer various questions from my loyal Readers. So without further ado, your questions…

What is your real name?
What’s in a name really? Why do you want to know my real name?

You say you aren’t very tall, so how tall are you exactly?
I’m 4’8″. Luckily I have a 15″ penis so that makes up for it.

What is your biggest pet peave?
Anyone behind the wheel that is not me.

Will you marry me?
No.

What do you have against Cajuns?
Have you ever heard a Cajun speak in that bastardized French accent? Have a conversation with a Cajun and ask again.

Do you have a MySpace or Facebook?
No, I do not subscribe to such stalking tools. I have pissed a lot of people off in my time and I don’t need to answer anymore hate mail than I already get. Also, do you really think I need an army of Cajuns coming after me?

Where were you born?
In a car, under the sea. What kind of question was that? I was born in a hospital moron.

Tell me how you really feel about Oklahoma?
Not really a question, but more of a smart ass statement. First, fuck OU. Second, I don’t know why I have to repeat myself.

What did you want to be when you grow up?
An idiot that asks stupid questions to strangers, but it seems that you have that market cornered.

Is there a reason you feel the need to use such bad language?
Fuckin’ a there is, and this is it: because I want to.

Where do you get your ideas for your posts? Are you really that unhappy?
That looks like two questions, but I’ll let it slide. I get my ideas for my posts from the world around me. The human race is full of idiots, I just happen to feel compelled to write about it. As for being unhappy, don’t take my sarcasm and cynicism for unhappiness; take it as sarcasm and cynicism, delta.

What can we expect for 2009?
Armageddon. How the fuck should I know? I’m not a psychic.

I think that is a fine way to round out my 100th post. I look forward to another hundred over the next year. And, of course, I look forward to swimming in the idiocy of the human condition.

Half of the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them.
–Walter Kerr

jbr

Advertisements
Comments
  1. Molly Jane says:

    Delta. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. This is why we’re friends.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s