Posted: November 10, 2008 in Uncategorized

For some strange reason, I have multiple pairs of flannel boxers. This is made even more strange by the fact that I am from Texas, and up until about 2 years ago, I had no need for flannel boxers. Oddly enough, I have had said boxers since my time in Texas, which still perplexes me to this day. As usual, however, I digress…

Today is is buttfucking cold outside. It’s not chilly. It’s not cool. It is nipple-popping, hair-growing cold outside. A little windy, a lot gray, and cold. With that in mind, I thought I would give these flannel boxers a whirl this morning. You know, the boys get a little chilly and considering that I am a smoker, it seemed to make sense. So on they went, under my jeans, and out the door I go.

My review: my boys are warm. They are insulated and happy. The rest of my lower half, however, is not so happy. I am not a very big dude. I’m not chunky monkey and I have a tiny butt. Today, thanks to the flannel boxers, I seem to have grown a ghetto booty. Not only that, it looks like I have soccer thighs to go along with this badonkadonk. I feel like I should be going low in the latest Flo Rida video or something. Not to mention that they are just uncomfortable…bunchy and what not. I guess you could say I now have my panties in a wad.

Since going commando is not much of an option today, I guess I’m just going to have to ride out the wave of rap videoesque bootiness. If you see me in the hall try not to stare too much…you might give me a complex.

I like big butts and I cannot lie.
–Sir Mixalot



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