Political Message, Part I

Posted: October 26, 2008 in Uncategorized

I was able to glean the transcripts from a couple of political ads that I saw recently and I thought I would share them with you. I was unable to get the video and audio to work, so you’ll just have to read along, but I think you’ll get the drift. First up, Barack Obama…

(female voiceover) Our country is broken. With our healthcare system failing and our economy in shambles, it is time for our country to move in a new direction. John McCain, wants you to feel sorry for him for being a POW during the Vietnam war. Barack Obama contends that most Americans think the Vietnam War was a hoax put on by the U.S. government. If it was a hoax, how could he have been a POW?

John McCain wants to pay for healthcare reform by selling the organs of our most vulnerable citizens: the retardeds. With Barack Obama, the healthcare system will no longer be needed. He has a vaccine that will make all Americans big and small; retarded and just Californian; black, white, and red, immune from all diseases and injury. What better way to reform the healthcare system than to eliminate it?

John McCain thinks the fundamentals of the economy are “strong.” Barack Obama says, “get a fucking clue old man.” When Commander-in-Chief, Barack Obama will drain the bank accounts of the wealthy and ship them off to a deserted island. They are the ones that got us here in the first place and it’s time to make them pony up and save the rest of us. Maybe he’ll ship them to Canada. Either way the economy will be stronger. Wall Street will become a bazaar of shops for small businesses and big business alike. The New York Stock Exchange will become the world’s largest Wal-Mart so that the middle-class citizen can find bargains, even in New York City.

John McCain’s running mate, Sarah “The Pit Bull” Palin, wants to legalize hunting of humans as “big game.” Barack Obama’s stance: just take off your clothes Palin and give us dirty, sexy librarian. After all, if you put lipstick on a MILF, she is still a MILF.

It’s time for radical change in America. On election day, remember this: George Bush is the devil. John McCain likes George Bush. Therfore John McCain is the Anti-Christ. And while Sarah Palin is hot, she probably isn’t going to show us the goods. Who here wants a cocktease in the White House?

(Barack Obama voiceover) I am Barack Obama and I have approved this message. On November 6th, help a brotha out by going black and not going back.

Interesting message the candidates are trying to push these days. So much for letting up on the political attacks.

People say satire is dead. It’s not dead; it’s alive and living in the White House.
–Robin Williams


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