Callin’ It

Posted: October 21, 2008 in Uncategorized

I have to call bullshit on the latest Visit California commercial. The young lady that opens the commercial says, and I’m paraphrasing, that everyone thinks Californians are laid back. I spent nine months in Los Angeles and I have met quite a few Californians. That is why, my friends, that I am calling bullshit.

Other than filming this commercial, has this girl really been to California? Californians are about as laid back as I am black. These people are some of the most uptight, rudest, suckiest people on the face of the planet. They have no manners. They have no sense of community. What they do have, however, is a sense of self-absorption that rivals a cheetah’s sense of speed.

Perhaps there are some areas of California where the people are laid back; I’m sure that can be said about all states. But being stoned out of your mind on delicious, juicy bud does not qualify as laid back. That qualifies as being stoned out of your mind on delicious, juicy bud. Perhaps the writers of this commercial failed to see the difference between the two.

California sucks. Sure San Francisco is kind of cool and San Diego is beautiful, but who the fuck wants to shell out $5 for a gallon of gas? And despite the coolness of these two cities, California is stuck with Los Angeles which is, in my very humble opinion, the 10th circle of hell. It’s crowded. It stinks. It’s always on fire. It’s on the verge of tumbling into the ocean. It has Hollywood.

So here’s to the heaping pile of bullshit you are trying to feed us, California. I guess you can’t get enough people to come visit your crappy little country (yes, I said country) and now you are resorting to lies. I can only hope that maybe, just maybe, my California bashing reaches at least one person and keeps them from getting stuck in the cesspool that is your state.

California is like an artificial limb the rest of the country doesn’t need.
–Saul Bellow

jbr

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