Thoughts on a Wednesday

Posted: October 13, 2008 in Uncategorized

Just some wickedly calculated randomness for your Wednesday.

  • If I have to hear that MIA song one more time (which is a rip off of a song by The Clash, by the way), I might shove firecrackers in my ears and set them off.
  • Welcome to the ‘Boys, Roy. Good riddance, Pac’.
  • No, I will not send you a memo next time I happen to be color coordinated with a coworker. Anyone who does send a memo to that effect should be fired for being a douchebag.
  • Dear Employer, It is 45 degrees outside today, I think it is okay to turn off the A/C. Yours truly, My Nipples
  • I don’t know why people don’t work from home more often. The selections on television are mind boggling…Judge Judy. Judge Joe Brown. Judge Hatchett. Judge Mathis. Judge David Young. People’s Court. Cristina’s Court. Divorce Court. It just sucks my Tivo can only record two of these gems at one time. Wait, gotta go, the verdict is in.
  • When your female boss asks to you to come up with a name for the newly formed internal ethics committee don’t say, “How about the Itty-Bitty Titty Committee.”
  • When I send someone an email at work, there is no reason to send one back saying “thanks.” Next time someone does that I’m going to send one back that says “fuck you” and pack up my desk.
  • It is easier to shave one’s balls during the winter.
  • No matter how much lotion you put on, it is still possible to write “DRY” on your skin with your fingernail, the only difference is the amount of blood you might draw in the process.

Well, I’d love to stay and chat but you’re a total bitch.
–Stewie Griffin

jbr

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s