I Fought the Ball…

Posted: September 25, 2008 in Uncategorized

…and the ball won.

Tuesday evening friends, during one of my many athletic excursions, I was the victim of a softball in the mouth. Smooth grounder that Karma had different plans for as it raced along the ground towards my open and waiting glove. As the ball got about 2-3 feet in front of me, Karma threw a rock or something right in front of it so that the ball popped up and smacked me square in the mouth.

Many of you may ask, “Why didn’t you move?” Well, this isn’t The Matrix, and I’m not Neo, nor is this a Twix commercial where I can stop time to move out of the way of this speeding ball of leather and string and rubber. So in my mouth it went, and in pain I became. After spitting out quite a bit of my own blood, and checking to make sure all of my teeth were still present in my gumline, I decided to tough it out and truck along.

Wednesday was brutal. Every single one of my teeth hurt and I felt as though I was swimming in a sea of fog. For all those that are wondering, brushing your teeth with a lip the size of Rhode Island can be a challenge. As is eating. And drinking. And chewing gum. And talking. And just about anything else you can think of with your mouth. So today, 36 hours after my losing battle with a softball, I still look like a cross between Angelina Jolie, Bubba (Forrest Gump), and Carl Spackler (Caddyshack). I sound like a short bus kid when I talk and I’m relegated to drinking my beer through a straw. Thanks a lot Karma for reminding who’s really in charge here.

It’s in the hole!
–Carl Spackler


  1. Molly Jane says:

    I’m glad you’re still drinking the beer, regardless.

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