Mexican Food…For Thought

Posted: September 11, 2008 in Uncategorized

Later this weekend, I’ll be posting my play-by-play of my travels to the Caribbean this week. In the meantime, as I sit on a patio, attached to a room, on a beach, and as I sip what is probably my 435th Dos Equis over the past five days, I thought it would be fun to share a few quick observations.

  • Whomever invented the netting inside men’s swimming trunks obviously never spent a lot of time submerged in water. This person should be drawn and quatered. The tip of my weenus is now completely raw thanks to the combination of netting, sand, saltwater, and flesh.
  • Mexican mosquitoes are strange. I walked out on my patio one morning only to see about 50 mosquitoes hanging out on the wall and buzzing around. Yet, despite my juicy presence, I was left alone. This remained true until about midday when they feasted on my flesh. Most mosquitoes bite during dusk and dawn hours. I guess I’m just a snack for them and not one of the essential meals of the day.
  • Having a butler for your room is AWESOME!
  • For some reason I cannot buy a shot of Patron at a Mexican resort. Go figure.
  • I wonder how they choose what to leave in English vs. translate to Spanish on television. For example, the show “Girls of the Playboy Mansion” is “Girls of the Playboy Mansion,” but the movie “Tears of the Sun” is “Las Lagrimas Del Sol.”
  • Why can I say “gracias” freely with no problemo but I can’t say “adios?” I’m such an American.
  • Finding Mexican food at a Mexican resort is damn near impossible.
  • The maker of the little bracelets one must wear at a resort should make the edges out of satin or something. Try accidentally scraping that motherfucker on your beet-red, freshly burned skin. Hurts almost as bad a raw weenus.
  • Four years of Spanish, 22 years in Texas, two trips to the Yucatan and three trips to bordertowns and I still can’t figure out why they put exclamation points and questions marks at both the beginning and end of sentences.

That’s it kiddies; I don’t want to spoil the rest of my literary fun this weekend. I’m off to drink more tequila I probably don’t need; and eat more food I probably won’t like; and pass out in a bed that most likely has seen more action than a Bruce Willis movie. ADIOS for now (see, I’m learning).

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
–George Carlin


  1. Molly Jane says:

    Nice flower bullets. (Yeah, I said it.)

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