Posted: August 9, 2008 in Uncategorized

I think the mosquitoes must have gotten wind of my previous mosquito-bashing posts and have decided to take their revenge on me. Over the course of the past three days, I have been bitten by these little devils 28 times. Not only have I had an inordinate amount of blood taken from me, the various locations of blood sucking have been highly annoying.

The bites are in the standard areas of course: legs and arms. But in addition to these highly exposed areas of skin, the little bastards have gotten creative. I have received bites on my temple, on my forehead, between my toes, between my fingers, and, my dear friends, get this shit: on my balls. That’s right, my balls. Testicles. Nuts. Whatever you want to call them. The stinky fuckers decided it would be fun to give me a nice itchy welp on my jewels. Not only does a mosquito bite in this area itch more than other areas, it is especially maddening because I can’t really scratch it. I mean, if I were a recluse and didn’t have to make public appearances I could scratch away. However, I am NOT a recluse, and I MUST make public appearances (I do work ya’ know), and scratching one’s crotch in public is typically frowned upon by society. Not to mention the fact that if I walk around digging my nails into my weiner area that people might think I have the crabs and, frankly, that is not an image I wish to portray.

This once again makes me wonder why we as a society have not found a better way to keep mosquitoes off of those that are prone to being a mosquito buffet. You’re telling me that with all the advances in science, technology, and medicine, the best we can do is come up with a remedy to keep mosquitoes off cats and dogs? Goes to show you what humans really think of other humans.

I think at a minimum Calvin Klein should come up with a fancy smelling cologne that also repels mosquitoes. Mr. Klein, you may have that suggestion, free of charge. Now get on it.

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think.
–Tom Wilson



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