Tax Dollars

Posted: August 6, 2008 in Uncategorized

I am all for lawmakers across the country working hard for their constituants in an effort to better this great land of ours. I am even all for standing up for what you believe in, even if I don’t agree with it. I am not, however, all for wasting the tax dollars of the American people for no rhyme or reason.

While I would like to talk about Sen. Arlen Spector trying to pursue the New England Patriots for cheating, which in my mind is a huge waste of our hard earned dollars, I actually have another elected idiot that I would like to speak about.

A state senator out of Nebraska, one Ernie Chambers, thinks it would be cute, and a worthwhile use of money and the justice system, to sue God. Not suing Best Buy because they have a bunch of morons working there. Not suing the makers of Hot Pockets for making a product that can remove your tastebuds for two weeks. No, those lawsuits would have at least some merit. This dildo thinks it would be fun to bring a lawsuit again an entity; an entity that nobody can really prove exists in the first place (before you jump down my throat here, this is not a discussion on faith. You believe what you believe, but don’t tell me you have ever met God).

There are so many things wrong with this that I don’t know where to begin, but let me try. Let me first say that these objections are presented in no particular order as I find the whole concept highly offensive and wasteful. Let me also say that I do not live in Nebraska, nor am I speaking for the people in Nebraska. For all I know they could be a bunch of borderline Atheists who think God has it coming to Him or Her or It.

Objection #1–Do you not have anything better to do with your time? It seems to me if you have enough time to bring a lawsuit on God, you have enough time to lobby for the repair of potholes in your district. Maybe there aren’t any potholes in your district. Maybe you’ve had all of your other goals met and just need to tackle something new and interesting. Or maybe you are high on PCP and someone should kick you in the shins.

Objection #2–State Sen. Chambers says that bringing this lawsuit against God is to “prove a point about frivoulous lawsuits.” The only point you are proving sir is how easy it is to file a frivolous lawsuit. Good job.

Objection #3–You can’t subpoena an entity. Enough said.

Objection #4–I’m pretty sure God isn’t going to like this too much. If you believe in God, which I’m sure you do because otherwise you wouldn’t be bitching and moaning about “harmful activities” and “terroristic threats,” don’t you think He (She, It, whatever) could put the smack down on your ass? I would surmise that pissing off God like this would be like pissing off Michael Corleone, and if you’ve seen The Godfather, you know that could get you a bullet in the eye. I would recommend, for your own safety, that you get in the Witness Protection Program. Oh wait, it’s God…I’m pretty sure you can’t hide.

The people of Nebraska should be livid about this douchebag’s waste of tax dollars. While he is taking up the time of some poor judge, someone else is waiting to be tried for a real offense which in turn is eating up taxpayer dollars. If I lived in Nebraska, I would want your salary back in my pocket. I would also be worried about your mental health and further concerned that you could waste our time even further by suing Mother Nature for the damage She causes, or suing midgets because they are so creepy.

Give it up buddy. Go to the courthouse today and drop this nonsense. If not for the people of Nebraska, for the simple fact that you look like a complete and total twit and are giving the state of Nebraska a bad name. If you’re that bored, start digging your grave now because you never know when the mafiaso that is God will take you out on a canoe and make a canal out of your forehead.

There’s nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
–Scott Adams



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