Monkey Butt, Part II

Posted: June 25, 2008 in Uncategorized

Now, if anyone is suffering from Monkey Butt (or Slut Butt if you prefer), it appears to be this man. This gentleman (James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, by the way) has accussed Barack Obama of “distoring the Bible,” because he has quoted archaic teachings from the Old Testament during a speech two years ago. He does not dispute the fact that his quotes are accurate, but just says he is distoring the Bible for quoting the Old Testament.
Okay, hold on just one second. I will be the first to admit that I’m not very religious, but if I’m not mistaken, the Old Testament is part of the Bible. I mean, really, I could be wrong, but something tells me I am spot on with that assessment. And if Obama is quoting passages from that portion of the Bible (assuming I am right of course) as examples of mild religious fantaticism, my guess would be that he is not distoring the Bible at all, but merely quoting the Bible. If you think about it, why would anyone try to distort something that everyone in the country has read and has ready access to? I was confused for a second, but after a bit of pondering, I came up with something…
My theory is that this dude has Monkey Butt so bad that it causes him to speak out of his ass, and because his ass is so chapped and swollen from riding on that high horse, his words get distorted and his judgment is clouded. And the slightly wry smile on his face here says, “yeah, I’ve got Monkey Butt, and I kinda like it.”
Before he goes and loses all credibility by continually talking out of his swollen and chapped ass, I suggest he go to the store and pick up some Anti-Monkey Butt Powder to sooth the swelling and uncloud his thinking. After all, it seems as though his brain resides near his asshole as well, not just his mouth.
You sir, are an asshole.
–Cameron Frye
LongStar
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