Drive-by Observations

Posted: June 12, 2008 in Uncategorized

Just a few things that popped into my brain throughout the course of the day…

  • Why do rappers always refer to women as “shortie?” Do they not have women in their lives that are taller than them? Are they all giants and even tall women are beneath them height wise? Would you call a woman taller than you a “tallie?”
  • Who, under the age of 45, still thinks a stand-alone mustache (pornstache) is a good idea?
  • The word “moist” seems to gross a lot of people out for some reason.
  • Someone should harness the smell of bacon and place it in a cologne.
  • Would products designed to take gray out of facial hair work on graying pubes? Do pubes even turn gray?
  • Mohawks are just an electrified mullet.
  • Don’t mix concrete with your hands. It’s not as fun as it looks.
  • There is no fish that tastes like chicken. Fish tastes like fish…stop trying to fool those of us that hate fish. Frog legs, on the other hand, do taste like chicken.
  • Coke Classic makes me feel like my gums are receding when I drink it.
  • Frosted Flakes is one of the best foods ever.
  • Is there a more unpleasant surprise than stepping in dogshit?
  • If I ever go to a strip club, instead of throwing dollar bills and “making it rain” I’m going to throw nickels and “make it hail.”
  • Or, perhaps even better, if I ever go to a strip club, I’ll “make it rain” but with Monopoly money. And not the dollar bills mind you, but the $500 bills…just to show I’m a big spender.

Kahn! KahnKahn
–Captain James T. Kirk



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