Quickly In Passing

Posted: June 4, 2008 in Uncategorized

Yesterday, whilst walking through the halls at my place of employment, I had a “fan” of mine, whom is also a friend, stop me to discuss Monday’s fashion faux pas blog. She (who shall remain nameless) took exception to my points relating to the female monthly visitor. I had suspected that some female, somewhere, would not particularly care for my take on the whole issue, and while I will not bore you with the entire conversation, I will share with you the primary jist of her argument:

“You should wear a pad for a week and see how you like it.”

I had to think about that statement for a second. Initially I thought, “why would I wear a notepad for a week?” After a good head scratching, it then dawned on me that she wasn’t referring to a note pad, but rather the good ol’ maxi-pad. Upon this realization I threw up a little bit in my mouth (vurp) at the notion of wearing a maxi-pad for a week (and what does “maxi” stand for anyway? Is it short for maximum? If it is, maybe they should call them by their full name: “maximum pads”…that would be awesome). Now, I don’t wish to dig myself a further hole here, but seeing as I am a glutton for punishment, I might as well get while the gettin’s good.

If you, my wildly intelligent Readers, have not figured it out by now, I am not of the female gender. With that in mind, I understand that what I am about to say may be…um…insensitive…or ignorant even. I also understand that some of the more sensitive types out there may be mildly (highly) offended by this, and for that I’m sorry (I’m not).

Disclaimer given, now back on point. Why, for the love of God, would I ever (even if I was a woman) wear a pad? It seems to me, and I could be way off base here, that it is just like wearing a bloody diaper. That notion, and I’m sure you will all agree with me, is just…well, it’s just nasty. Further, and let me clue some of you in here, such a contraption makes things smell, um, less than delicious (I have had such an unpleasant experience). Considering this, why not go for the less messy, less smelly, less uncomfortable option? I am sure there are other things in play here that I don’t get, don’t understand, and aren’t privy to, and to be honest, I don’t want to know. I would rather look at this on my pedestal and perhaps gross you out in the process.

I get that I do not know what it’s like to be a woman. And I also get that women may have it a bit more difficult physiologically than men. I get it, I understand it, I appreciate it. But, as there is always a silver lining, at least you always get free drinks.

Short and to the point…just like Sophia from Golden Girls.

Mekka-lekka hi mekka hiney ho
–Jambi

LongStar

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