Posted: May 18, 2008 in Uncategorized

In my never-ending quest to upend retail outlets across the land, I had an experience that I would like to pass along to you, my loyal Reader.

I went on a quest to locate a pitching washers set. I didn’t think it would be that hard, and even though I’m not in Texas anymore (Toto), I found plenty of sets online but have yet to be successful locating one in person. Sure, I could order one online, but quite frankly, I want it NOW. So I went to a local sporting goods establishment searching for the set they presented online. After about 10 minues of aimless wandering, I was unable to locate said set, so against my better (manly) judgment, I made the decision to ask one of the clerks. There were two of them there so naturally I assumed my luck would be doubled. And without further ado, here is the conversation that took place.

“Hi,” I said unassumingly. “Do you have a pitching washers set? I can’t seem to find it.”

Not one, but two blank stares.

Clerk number one says, “We don’t carry appliances.”

Seriously? Did she really just say that? How wonderful. I wonder how many cards are missing from her deck.

“Not a washer set, but pitching washers,” I replied. I even made the little underhanded washer-pitch motion.

More confused looks from my two new best friends. “The baseball pitching aids are over there,” clerk number two says while pointing towards the baseball area.

“I…not…um…nevermind,” I irritatingly said as I rolled my eyes and walked away.

People are idiots.

Close your eyes holy roller novocain
–Kings of Leon


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