Prison Break

Posted: March 7, 2008 in Uncategorized

Often in times in life, both for those that are religious and those of us that are not religious, we question why certain things are the way they are. As I age (gracefully), I find myself asking such questions about my body and why it does not want to cooperate with me. Whether it is my back, or my hair (for the record, I have all my hair, even if it is graying a little bit, but we can call that blonding), I can’t help but wonder why my body is habitually rebelling against me.

Today, or rather this week, I have taken my wonderment to another level. Over the last six days, my face has felt like donkey has kicked me between the eyes, or perhaps that a thousand microscopic monkeys are taking part in prison break of epic proportions. I attribute this discomfort to my sinuses, which in my mind is a little strange. I am, obviously, not a doctor (but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night) but I don’t have a cold nor have I been otherwise ill. Yet, seemingly good health aside and for some strange reason, the material that normally flows through my facial plumbing has decided to halt its journey from one end to the next.

This traffic jam of mucus has resulted in the most pleasant feeling of my nose and teeth throbbing like a worked up virgin on prom night, and said throbbing has led me to this question: why in God’s name would your sinuses, which are prone to such misbehavior, be located in an area that one cannot reach? Fingers, pencils, and pipe cleaners have not gained me access to the anatomical gems. Why God (or Allah if you swing that way) would you torture us with a level of irritation that makes a person feel like a baby might come popping out of his (or her) ear?

These questions are, of course, rhetorical in nature as they have no real answer. However, what these questions do provide is (beyond giving me something to bitch about) further proof that God (or whatever for all you atheists out there) has a really sick sense of humor. So with that…hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to the doctor I go.

I’m gonna get drunk don’t you have no fear; I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer.
–George Thoroughgood


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