And Now for Something Completely Different…

Posted: February 12, 2008 in Uncategorized

Believe it or not, my dearest Readers, I am the recipient of emails regarding the content of my rantings and ravings. Most of these emails are quite vicious, ranging from anything to death threats (come n’ get me) to proposals for marriage (um, no thanks). Sometimes, however, I do get some good questions, one of which I would like to share with you today.

Dear LongStar,

Why are pickles in a restaurant so much tastier than pickles out of a jar?



Well, thanks for your question Pipsqueak, and it is a wonderful question. While I do not concur with you that pickles in a restaurant are more delicious than a jarred, preservative filled pickle, I appreciate the tastes of others and decided to do some research on the subject. I was quite shocked (and quite honestly rather elated) when I found the answer to your question.

Jarred pickles are, of course, soaked in spices and vinegar. As one can imagine, they are also jarred with other chemicals to improve shelf life, but they do not really add to the taste of the pickle. Restaurant pickles are, suprisingly enough, soaked in bear urine. Bear urine, it turns out, is not only sterile, but rich in fish oils and natural vinegars that help to keep the pickle crisp and maintain a more cucumberish color.

There you have it, the answer to one of life’s great culinary mysteries. So next time you are at a restaurant, enjoy a fresh, natural, environmentally friendly pickle.

Please, please, please don’t drag me down.
–Jack Johnson



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